Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
