You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
