You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I need a beard to bite.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
