I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
