I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We have started to decorate penises.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
