I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
