I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
