I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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