Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
