I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
