Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
