Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
false alarm, still single
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