too bad you live with your parents still
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
