I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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