I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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