that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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