I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
