U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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