That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
