you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
