Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
