Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize
