wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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