Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
