just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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