my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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