You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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