me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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