I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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