He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
