Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
