I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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