So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Someone shattered a urinal.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
