Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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