I got chris browned last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my poor anus
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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