I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
