Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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