it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
