how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
