It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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