wrigley field is MILF paradise
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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