I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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