waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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