is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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