you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
