do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
