We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Found the puke drawer
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
