The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
