Swine flu. Run for my life!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
