Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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