I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
