hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
